Chaotix Stupidity
by DangerousRockstar
Summary: The idiotic Team Chaotix is assigned to do lots of missions for the new client. As they do so, lots of random yet humerous events will get in their way. Can they do the job and get paid "handsomely"? DISCONTINUED
1. Meet the Chaotix!

Since I'm out of school for 2 weeks because of winter break, I'm gonna write this funny fanfic! Now, if you played Team Chaotix's story on Sonic Heroes, you can see that they're kinda goofy. But who else is writing a parody besides me? No one! Here's the first chappie. R&R, thank you. One more thing: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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_**Anime2videogames presents...**_

_**A parody of a well-known team from Sonic Heroes...**_

_**And this fanfic is called...**_

_**CHAOTIX ADVENTURE!!**_

It was a normal Monday afternoon at a large apartment building called "Special Home". The day was slow, and it was only 12:00 p.m. Every single room was quiet at some sort, because the residents were so darn bored. In room 101, two creatures were in their room, not saying a word. One of them was a lime green crocodile who was 20 years old, the leader of his detective team, and a loud mouth. The other one was a purple and pink chameleon that was 16 years old, often quiet, and was a skilled ninja.

The lime green crocodile was sitting at his desk as he listened to some loud hip hop music on his MP3 player. He bobbed his head multiple times as he snapped his fingers with joy. His name was Vector the Crocodile. One of his ultimate goals was to become the richest man alive. But since his detective team hasn't had any work in a while, he hasn't made any progress yet. However, he has another goal of becoming a rapper. As you may know, he loves hip hop and rap music, and he has many inspirers. Still, his rapping skills suck and no one thinks that he'll ever make a record.

Next, the chameleon was standing on the wall as he had his arms crossed and his eyes shut. His name was Espio the Chameleon. He was the thinker of his detective team. Although, he doesn't like the way that Vector tries to get the money to himself. Both of them were somewhat friends and somewhat rivals. But thanks to his intelligence, Espio was able to help his team get out of sticky situations. Still, he was most often ignored. Even so, he has no one else in his life to hang out with, so he has no other choice to be with his odd team. The coolest thing about him was that he was ninja with ass kicking skills!

"Hey, Espio", Vector turned to him as he turned down the music of his MP3 player.

"What?" Espio said impatiently as he opened his eyes.

"You wanna hear what song I'm listening to right now?" the crocodile asked nicely.

"No, I don't care what you're listening to, and I don't care who sings or raps that song", Espio looked away.

"Ok, ok, here it goes, here it goes", Vector turned up the music.

"I said no", the chameleon snapped at him.

"**_I like big butts and I can not lie_**", Vector began to sing Baby Got Back by Sir-Mix-A-Lot outloud. "**_You other brothers can not deny. That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist, and a round thing in your face, you get sprung. Wanna pull you tough..._**"

As Vector continued, Espio covered his ears. He couldn't take it any longer! If he had a gun, he would shoot himself, or better yet, shoot Vector instead! No wonder everyone thinks that Vector will ever become a famous rapper. One reason why was because his voice was annoying. The second reason was because...well, he can't rap, period! Before Espio could've lost his mind, the door next to him opened and slammed him against the wall.

"Its here, hooray!!" a bumble bee zoomed in with a brown box in his hands. His name was Charmy Bee. He was only 6 years old, and he loves sugary stuff. However, whenever Vector accidentally gives him some sugary drinks or food, he'll go sugar high! So that makes three. The team was called Team Chaotix. Well, that's been said enough. Let's continue the story. Charmy didn't notice that he was about to crash into Vector. He tried to stop himself, but he couldn't!

"**_Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha, and take your picture_**-Gah!!!" Vector was interrupted when Charmy crashed into him. He spun around in his chair and the box flew out of Charmy's hand.

Espio closed the door and rearranged his corn horned nose. He looked up and noticed that a small brown box was flying in the air. Hurriedly, he pulled out a kunai knife and threw it. The sharp end of the knife caught the box's string and sent it to the wall. The ninja chameleon sighed in relief. Charmy got off of the floor and rubbed his head. Vector stopped spinning and puked in a trashcan that was luckily next to him.

"Charmy!" Vector snarled at him. "I told you a million times not to interrupt me when I'm rapping!"

"Thank you, Charmy", Espio clapped the dust off of his hands.

"Shut up", the lime green crocodile snapped back.

"Sorry, but we have work", Charmy said cheerfully.

"Eh?" Vector turned to him.

"We have work", the bumble bee repeated.

"Did you just call me a queer?" Vector pointed at him rudely.

"No, work", Charmy shrugged.

"Jerk?" Vector asked as he crossed his arms.

"No, no, no, WORK!" Charmy slapped his forehead.

"Did you say you say we have a fork?" Vector turned down his MP3 player.

"NO! **WORK**!" Charmy yelled out angrily. "W-O...Espio, how do you spell 'work'?"

"W-O-R-K", Espio kindly spelled it out for him.

"W-O-R-K! **WORK**!" Charmy pounded his head in frustration.

"Oh!! Work", Vector chuckled. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I did!" Charmy snapped at him.

"Hey, something's coming out of that box up there", Espio pointed.

"Huh?" Vector looked to his right and Charmy looked over also. They gasped as they saw that the brown box opened by itself. A sudden object fell out of it. "I got it, I got it!" they rushed to save the object. "Nooooooooo..." Vector jumped in the air and reached his hand out in slow motion.

"Ha-ha!" Charmy caught the object before him.

"Doh!" Vector fell on his belly on the hard wooden floor. "Dang it, Charmy, every time I go slow motion to catch something, you always get it first and say 'Ha-ha'", he stood on his arms.

"What is this thingy?" Charmy looked at the red and white object.

"Hmm..." Espio walked to it, making sure that it wasn't a bomb. "Seems to be some kind of communicator."

"Gimme", Vector snatched the object out of Charmy's hand.

"Hey!" the small bee whined at him.

"Testing, 1, 2, 3, can you hear me now?" Vector turned on the strange communicator.

The device did nothing. All the three "detectives" could hear was some static. Espio and Charmy came up close to it curiously. However, no one responded. Just in case, Espio looked to his left and saw a closet with a sign that read 'Bomb Defuse Closet'. They may never know that the object could be a bomb from some strange terrorists. Suddenly, a long yawn was heard on the communicator.

"Aah!!" Charmy screamed with horror. "It's a bomb!"

"A bomb?" the voice on the communicator said. "No, no, no. I am your new client."

"Praise Jesus, we have a new client!" Vector sang as if he was in a church choir.

"Never again..." Espio shook his head.

"Are you Team Chaotix?" the male voice asked.

"The one and only!" Charmy and Vector saluted.

"Identify yourselves", the voice ordered.

"I'm Vector, age 20, loves hip hop, and the boss-", the crocodile explained himself.

"My name's Charmy, I'm 6 years old, and I love sugar!!" the bumble bee cuts him off with an excited smile on his face.

"I'm Espio, age 16, I'm a ninja-," the chameleon spoke.

"I don't care, nevermind", the voice replied rudely.

"What?" Espio growled as he clenched his fists.

"Anyway, I heard good things about you, and I require your detective services", the voice explained politely.

"You heard about us?" Vector scratched his head.

"Of course", the voice said. "I will carry out some various tasks in order to improve your detective skills. Once you've done all of your work, I will pay you all handsomely."

"Just how handsomely?" Vector asked suspiciously.

"Can you say over $50, 000?" the voice said nicely.

"Over $50,000?" Vector grinned with dollar signs in his eyes.

"Cha ching!" Charmy saw dollar signs in his eyes also.

"However, I'll have your missions ready in three hours", the client said. "You may rest; get something to eat, et cetera. Then head to "Seaside Hill" at 3:00 pm. Don't be late", he ordered.

"Say, who are you anyway?" Espio asked.

"I don't want to tell you my real name", the client on the communicator said.

"Do you have a code name?" Charmy asked cheerfully.

"Umm...Code...Bacon?" the client said oddly.

"..." Team Chaotix sweatdropped.

"Remember, 'Seaside Hill', at 3:00", Code 'Bacon' said and then turned off his communicator.

There was silence. That was until Vector and Charmy started laughing hysterically. Espio shook his head slowly with a confused look on his face. What kind of code name was that? What was his real name anyway? Could the detectives really trust him? Something told Espio that the new "client" seemed strange. Not only that, but very rude. He sighed as he crossed his arms.

"I dunno. I got a bad feeling about that guy..."

"Espio, don't be retarded", Vector stopped laughing.

"What?" Espio's eyebrow twitched. Obviously, he does NOT like that word at ALL. If he was called retarded, then he would go madly insane. It wasn't his fault really. It was due to his ancestors and how he grew up when he was young.

"I mean, uh, don't be ridiculous", Vector began to sweat in fear.

"WHAT?" Espio hissed as his other eyebrow started twitching.

"Don't call him words that starts with an R", Charmy whispered to Vector. "Say something else, or else we're dead."

"Um...Don't be...worrying?" Vector shook like a leaf.

"Oh", Espio somehow calmed down.

"Phew", Vector sighed in relief. "Anyway, you know our policy. **Never snitch**."

"Wrong one", Charmy nudged him by the arm.

"I mean, **We never turn down the work that pays**", Vector corrected himself. "Since we have plenty of time before our first mission starts, let's continue listening to me rapping", he puts his headphones back on.

"NOOOOO!!" Espio begged for mercy.

"**_Baby got back!_**" Vector started rapping the most known old school song again.

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Ok, that's the end of the first chappie. So what do ya think? Should I keep going? R&R thanks! P.S, I don't own anything...


	2. Weird Neighbors

Ok, here's the second chappie! Man, I am still glad that I don't have school for two weeks. Anyway, I don't own anything, blah, blah, blah, enjoy!!

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Espio woke up sometime later after a little nap. He did suffer more of Vector's stupid rapping, until his MP3 player suddenly died. After he got off of the couch, he looked around. Weird, where were Charmy and Vector? Did they go to get something to eat? Or did they go to the arcade that was near the front door to the apartment? The chameleon looked at his watch and then gasped. It was 2:30, only 30 minutes before the first mission begins! Hurriedly, he ran out of the door and took the room key. Almost forgetting, he came back, slammed the door, and then locked it. He stopped and panted to himself. Even though his teammates weren't around, he had to stay calm. First, he had to see if Vector and Charmy went to one of the neighbors' room. So he walked to the room 102. He knocked on it hardly. Just then, a pink echidna that wore a purple robe opened the door and came out hurriedly.

"Shh!" the female echidna shushed him furiously. "Be quiet", she whispered. "I got 4 kids in there, and they're finally asleep. If they woke up by now, I would've killed you."

"Sorry", Espio went into whisper. "Say, Julie-Su, have you seen Vector or Charmy anywhere?"

"What?" Julie-Su leaned closer to get a better hearing.

"Have you seen Vector or Charmy anywhere?" Espio repeated the question.

"No", Julie-Su shook her head. "Why?"

"Because we have a new client, and our first mission starts pretty soon", Espio explained, still in whisper. "By the way, 4 kids?! That's crazy!"

"Well, tell that to their father", Julie-Su crossed her arms.

"Who is the father?" Espio asked curiously.

"You'll know", the pink echidna said. "If you look, you'll find out who it is."

"How am I supposed to know when I don't know who the guy is?" Espio asked as he scratched his head.

"In time, you'll know", Julie-Su said as she opened the door behind her slowly. "You will know…" she went back in her room and closed the door gently.

The chameleon pondered for the moment. That was the weirdest thing he heard from Julie-Su. And no one told him that she had 4 kids! Still, who was the father? Hopefully, Julie-Su would call Maury and make her 'baby daddy' help take care of her kids. True Espio felt sorry for her, but there was no time to stick around. He still had to find Vector and Charmy. If they end up fired, then he'll go psycho and kill them! Remembering that Julie-Su's babies were asleep, he tip toed to the next door that was room 103. He knocked on the door a few times. The door opened, but no one was there. Curiously, he walked in and the door closed behind him. Suddenly, he was in a room surrounded by smoke. He coughed hardly as he covered his face.

"Hello?"

"Hey there, buddy", Mighty the Armadillo said as he held a small piece of weed in his hand.

"Mighty?" Espio looked back at him. "Why is the room filled with smoke?"

"I dunno", the 17 year old armadillo snorted. "What's cooking, doc?"

"Is that weed?" Espio pointed at the small plant suspiciously.

"What, this?" Mighty looked at his weed oddly. "I think so…Do I look high right now?"

"Yes, because your eyes looked a little closed up, they're kinda red, and you smell funny", Espio listed out.

"You smell like eggs", Mighty pointed at him, then he started snickering crazily.

"Anyway, have you seen Vector or Charmy anywhere-?" Espio sighed with annoyance.

"Dude, dude, come here", Mighty led him to the kitchen. "Isn't she a beauty?" he greeted him to a large plant that really looks like the famous weed symbol.

"Oh, my god, where'd you get that?" Espio widened his eyes in shock.

"I'm not telling", Mighty shook his head. "I stole this from some guy name Mark, somewhere in the hood I think. Don't tell that I told you, when I wasn't supposed to tell, but I told anyway…I told."

"Yep, you told me everything", Espio sweatdropped.

Mighty smoked the last inch of his weed and then blew the smoke out of his lips. Yes, he was so high right now. But how did he get on drugs in the first place? Espio was so ready to leave the place. He walked backwards slowly and reached to the exit to the kitchen. Mighty heard his footsteps and turned around.

"Don't go near my happy things!" he pointed at Espio.

"Happy things?" the chameleon stopped.

The goofy armadillo rushed into the living room but suddenly tripped over his marijuana pipe that was in the middle of the floor. He cursed loudly and then got back up. Then he sat on the couch and pulled out a couple of plastic bags. One of them was filled with weed, the other was filled with crack, and the other filled with heroine. Espio widened his eyes oddly.

"What…the…hell?"

"Dude, seriously, these are my happy things", Mighty looked at him with a retarded smile.

"How often do you use those drugs?" Espio asked awkwardly.

"About 3 days a week, I think", Mighty opened a bag of crack.

"But isn't that bad for you?"

"No", Mighty shook his head multiple times until he stopped. "You can do drugs, but just don't abuse them too much."

"Like you are right now?" Espio crossed his arms.

"Look, I was pissed off today, so I needed to smoke", Mighty grabbed a scoop of crack out of the bag.

"Still, drugs can kill you", Espio explained some more.

"No they don't", Mighty shook his head with an odd looking smile.

"Yes, they do", Espio nodded.

"No way."

"Yes."

"You're lying."

"I'm not!"

"You're funny", Mighty pointed at Espio weirdly and giggled.

"Erm…ok?" Espio swift his eyes side to side. "Oh, yeah, have you seen Charmy or Vector anywhere?"

"Who?" Mighty asked before he could've sniffed some crack.

"Nevermind", Espio walked to the door. "Have fun with the crack", he said and then walked out of the door.

"Stay in school!" Mighty waved. He sniffed a little bit of crack and then froze. His eyes shot open as he body started twitching. All of the sudden, he got on the floor and started having a seizure attack. "CRACKING LACKING!"

After seeing that…odd scene, Espio closed the door behind him. He then walked to room 104. Now that was crazier than Julie-Su with 4 kids (LOL, that's a cartoon channel)! He used to know Mighty when he was with the Chaotix also. But he quit about a year ago for some particular reason. As of today, Espio knows why. However, he still had to find Vector and Charmy. If only they didn't take off without him knowing it. Espio knocked on the door to room 104. A yellow and brown squirrel opened the door. From the looks of his face, he looked drunk. In his hands were two bottles of wine.

"Who-a you? A-are y-y-ou the mail-a-man?" the squirrel slurred.

"Ray, are you drinking?" Espio raised an eyebrow.

"N-no, I-I-I-I'm, no", Ray wobbled a little. "Do-do you have the 'kittylog' yet?"

"You mean 'catalog'?" Espio sweatdropped. "Anyway, you seen Vector or Charmy anywhere?"

"Do you speak English?" Ray pointed at him, plus dropped and broke one of his wine bottles. "Oh, darn, who's gonna clean that up?" He shrugged his shoulders and got down on his knees. Disgustingly, he started licking the spilt wine that was on the wooden floor.

"I am so outta here", Espio backed away and walked to the next door.

Yet again, he saw another weird thing from a fellow neighbor. What was wrong with everyone today? It was so surprising that the landlord doesn't notice what was going on in their rooms! At any rate, time was still running out. Espio went to the last room on the first floor. It was of course room 105. He knocked on the door in a hurry, hoping that someone would open the door. Luckily, a purple and white weasel opened the door. For once, this neighbor looked perfectly normal like Espio.

"Can I help you?" the weasel crossed his arms.

"Hey, Fang, have you seen Vector or Charmy anywhere?" Espio asked politely.

"Um…I think I saw them outside an hour ago", Fang pondered.

"What were they doing outside?"

"I dunno. Meditating or something…"

"What?" Espio sweatdropped. "Are they still outside?"

"Take a look yourself", Fang welcomed him in.

Quickly, Espio ran in the room and went to the window. Outside in the backyard, he did see Vector and Charmy! So that's where they have been through the whole time! Both of the creatures were sitting on the grass in criss-cross-applesauce position. They had their hands together as they continue to meditate. Espio's eyebrows twitched angrily as he growled. After all of that searching and wasting his time, that's where those two have been?! Now he was very pissed. But then, he calmed down. The only thing that he was glad about was that Fang wasn't doing drugs or alcohol at all!

"You know, it's a good thing that you're clean", Espio turned around with a small smile.

"How is that?" Fang asked as he scratched his head.

"Well, you're not smoking, sniffing, or drinking", Espio explained. "Basically, a couple of our neighbors are on drugs."

"Oh…Ok…" Fang widened his eyes unusually.

"Well, anyway, thanks", Espio walked out of the door.

Fang didn't say goodbye and closed the door. Now that he was alone, he walked to his closet. He opened the door and found a huge stash of weed. So he was on drugs too! But not in the moment when Espio came by. Fang pulled out one of the bags of weed and sniffs some. Then he began to get high…

(Meanwhile, with Vector and Charmy…)

"And now, let's stretch", Vector stretched out his arms.

"Ok", Charmy stretched his out also.

"Breath in…" Both of them inhaled some fresh air. "Exhale", Vector sighed along with Charmy.

"Yay", the bumble bee smiled.

"Feel the Mother Nature", Vector reached his hands to the air. Charmy did the same. "Now reach to the center of the earth", he reached to the middle of the ground. Again, Charmy followed his orders.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?!" Espio came up behind them and hollered madly.

"Gah!" Vector and Charmy shrieked like girls as they turned to him.

"Oh, we were just meditating", Charmy explained with a smile. "Yoga and meditating are very good to release some stress."

"You two did yoga too?" Espio raised an eyebrow.

"We tried", Vector rolled his shoulder. "Anyway, what's up?"

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" Espio crossed his arms.

"Time for you to get a watch", Charmy pointed at him and started laughing.

"No!" Espio stomped his foot hardly. "We have to get to Seaside Hill before we're screwed! I've been looking for you guys for a long time!"

"Ok, ok, we'll go", Vector got up and walked off.

"Finally", Espio sighed as he followed him.

"Hey, wait up", Charmy got off the ground and buzzed to follow them.

The three reached to the front of the hotel. They all saw a dark green 1976 Honda Civic. The rear mirrors were broken, the rims looked a little rusty, and the bumper looked like it was about to fall off. Vector and Charmy got in the front seats as Espio got in the back. They all fastened their seatbelts. The lime green crocodile puts the key in and turned on the ignition. But the car didn't start up. Vector growled and turned the ignition a few more times. Successfully, he got the car in ignition.

"Whoo-hoo!" Charmy threw his hands in the air in cheer.

"Before we go to Seaside Hill, we have to go to a couple of places first", Vector spoke.

"A couple of places?!" Espio yelled angrily. "We don't have time to do some errands! If we end up late, then we'll get fired!"

"Relax", Vector puts the shift into drive and drives off. "We won't take long. Just two places and then off to Seaside Hill."

"I swear…" Espio seethed through his teeth with rage.

"Can we listen to some music?" Charmy asked, since he was bored.

"Ok", Vector turned on the radio.

All of the sudden, the radio began to play one of Vector's favorite songs. Obviously, it was Baby Got Back from Sir-Mix-A-Lot. Vector and Charmy started dancing as they listened to the chorus. Espio let out a scream of bloody murder as he covered his ears. Not again!! So now, he had to suffer as he listens to the song, again…

_**(Sir Mix-a-Lot):**__**  
I like big butts and I can not lie  
You other brothers can't deny  
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist  
And a round thing in your face  
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough  
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed  
Deep in the jeans she's wearing  
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring  
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha  
And take your picture  
My homeboys tried to warn me  
But with that butt you got makes me feel so horny**_

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LOL, poor Espio. Ok, now that this chappie is over, now this fic is rated T, just in case. I mean, you may never know something else could happen in this story that little kids shouldn't be reading this fic, only teens…00 Anyway, R&R! Thanks! Remember, STAY AWAY FROM DRUGS! ESPEICALLY CRACK, CRACK KILLS! 


	3. Running Late

Ok, this chapter gets really outta hand, if you know what I mean. Instead of going straight to Seaside Hill, well, there's something else that Vector wants to do first. Will Espio keep his anger together? R&R! Remember, I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!

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A few minutes later, the Chaotix made it to an unknown building. Vector parked the car on the curb near the twin glassed doors. He unbuckled himself and turned off the ignition. Espio and Charmy unbuckled themselves also and got out of the car. The crocodile got out of the car and locked the doors. Espio looked at the size of the building. It looked like the size of a huge business marking place. On the center of the building, it read "G-Unit Studios". Espio sweatdropped. What the hell were he and the others doing there? Hopefully, Vector wasn't going to make a record. From all of the places, why there? The ninja clenched his fists with anger as Vector and Charmy went to the doors.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING HERE?!" Espio screamed out chaotically.

"Dude, chill already", Charmy looked back at him with a sweatdrop.

"This is my chance, Espio", Vector turned to him happily. "Finally, I get to drop my first record. And guess what; all of my begging's made Dr. Dre call back."

"What? Dr. Dre?" Espio looked at him and sweatdropped.

"Oh, snap, Dre is in da house!" Charmy said, trying to sound gangster.

"You betcha, young'n", Vector gave him a high five. "Anyway, we won't take too long. My song's pretty short."

"Do you have a pass?" Espio crossed his arms.

"Yes, I do", the green crocodile showed his free pass badge. "Now, let's go", he walked inside and his comrades followed.

"Why, why, why, why, why, why, why….?" Espio murmured to himself over and over again as he had his head down.

A security guard led the team up to the top floor. It was a recording room. Inside that room was one of the famous rappers, Dr. Dre. He was sitting in a seat in front of a machine that he could use to produce music for some artists. He was wearing a long black 'Death Row Records' shirt, sagging jeans, brand new red and white sneakers, and of course, had on some expensive jewelry on him. Sighing with bore, he looked at his golden watch. If he knew that his new crew member would be that late, he would've got something to eat. Before he could've got out of his seat completely, the door opened. He cleared his throat as he quickly sat down. The first one to walk in the door was a large lime green crocodile. Dr. Dre gulped, thinking that the crocodile was going to eat him. However, this crocodile was anthropomorphic, meaning that the crocodile had human characteristics and qualities. The next one to walk in was a purple/pink, anthropomorphic chameleon. And last, an anthropomorphic bumble bee zoomed in behind the other two creatures. Even though Dre wasn't expecting all of that, he had to be polite.

"Wazzup, Dre", Vector waved.

"Sup", Dr. Dre bobbed his head.

"OH, MY GOD, ITS DR. DRE!" Charmy gasped cheerfully. "Can I have your autograph?" he pulled out a piece of paper and a pen.

"Not now", Vector whispered to him snappily.

"Nah, nah, its cool", Dr. Dre waved his hands no. "So, UR Big V, right?"

"You dig dis chain?" Vector showed off his fake golden chain that hanged around his neck.

"…It's…fake", Dre sweatdropped.

"I'll say", Espio crossed his arms and glared at Vector edgily.

"Ouch…" Vector raised an eyebrow embarrassingly.

"So…R we gonna drop dis song, or wat?" Dre asked as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh, yeah!" Vector finally remembered. He walked into the recording booth and puts on the required headphones so he could hear the music. "I'm ready!" he gave a big thumb's up.

"Um, R U sure dat U memorized UR lyrics B4 U came here?" Dre asked on the intercom that led his voice to the recording booth.

"Yezzir!" Vector nodded. "Gimme a beat."

Charmy gave him two big thumbs up to show him good luck. Espio slapped his forehead, because he thought that all of them were just wasting time. Who knows, they might be fired now! However, the communicator wasn't on, nor did the client tried to speak to them in the first place. With any luck, they might make it to Seaside Hill. Dr. Dre pressed a few beats. There were claps, some samples from old school hip hop music, and lots of saxophone music playing. Vector started bobbing his head. So he was ready to make his first ever record. Then he began to rap:

_**Yeah, check it**_

_**This is Big V**_

_**I'm rollin' here with Little C and Dumb E**_

_**We drivin' down da streets and rollin'**_

_**We passin' by some restaurants, because we need to eat**_

_**So we went, we went**_

_**McDonald's, McDonald's, McDonald's**_

_**Big Mac, McChicken, French fries, Snack wrap, Quarter Pounder,**_

_**Burger King, Whopper, Icee, Onion Rings,**_

_**Taco Bell, Bell, Bell, Bell, Bell-**_

_**Me gusto Tacos, Tacos, Taco-Flavored Kisses,**_

_**Burritos, Burritos, Burritos, Burritos**_

_**Enchiladas, Enchiladas, Enchiladas, Enchiladas,**_

_**Tortillas, Tortillas, Tortillas-**_

"Ok, that's good", Dr. Dre said with a huge sweatdrop on his right cheek and turned off the music.

"How was it?" Vector asked with a delightful smile.

"Um…For real, um…" Dr. Dre tried to come up with something to say.

"Basically, all you're talking about is food, and it's stupid", Espio explained.

"Yeah, and you made me hungry", Charmy rubbed his grumbling belly.

"My bad", Vector said. "Anyway, Dre?" he turned to the rapper/producer as the same smile returned.

"Um…You're lyrics are…sorta ok…still…I'll think about it", Dre pondered.

"Really?" Vector asked with a blink.

"I'll think about it", Dr. Dre nodded.

"Is that a yes or no?"

"I'll think about it."

"You'll lemme know, right?"

"I'll think about it."

"Fa shizzle?"

"I'll think about it."

"Okie-dokie", Vector took off the headphones and puts the MP3 player's headphones back in his ears. Then he left the recording booth. "Thanks, Dre."

"No prob, homie", Dre said as he and Vector did a long gangster-like handshake. "Peace."

"Peace!" Vector and Charmy held their hands in a gangster 'Westside' symbol.

"Now can we go?" Espio tapped his foot impatiently. "We still got to focus on getting to Seaside Hill."

"Ok", Vector walked out of the room. "C'mon boys, let's go."

"Say, who's Little C?" Charmy followed him as he used his wings to fly forward.

"Well, that's you", Vector explained to Charmy as Espio was the last to leave the room. "And Dumb E is Espio."

"I hate you", Espio said with fury.

Soon as their footsteps faded away, Dr. Dre started laughing hardly with tears. He thought that Vector was the dumbest rapper that he has ever met in his life! And that song was so retarded! So there was NO way that he was going to let Big V sign up with G-Unit records. Actually, he would rather sign Big Foot up instead! Continuing to laugh, Dr. Dre fell out of his chair and held his stomach. He was laughing so hard, that he didn't notice that he was peeing in his own pants! But he didn't care.

"Oh, my god! That waz so fuckin' stupid! Man, I betta tell Snoop 'bout dis", he pulled out a cell phone and dialed a number.

Back with the Chaotix, they walked out of the building and got back in the car. To Charmy, Vector's song made him hungry. As for Espio, he thought that the song sucked and that they were wasting their time! He looked at his watch and gasped. Only 5 minutes left until the first mission starts! Now they all had to get serious. Well, that Espio was hoping right now as Vector starts up his car and drives off.

"I know, I know", Dre said on his cell as he watched through the window. "And then he started rappin' about tortillas and shit. And I just saw his ride, Snoop, and it looks like shit."

(Ok, back with the Chaotix…)

"We better hurry", Espio said nervously.

"I still can't believe that I got Dr. Dre's autograph", Charmy held up the signed paper with Dre's cursive handwriting on it. "If only Mom and Dad were still alive…" he lowered it sadly.

"Hey, I know what will cheer you up", Vector gave him a playful punch on the arm.

"Like what?" Espio and Charmy asked in union.

10 minutes later, Vector stopped his car. Espio opened his eyes and yawned. He stretched his arms as Charmy woke up. Both of them looked around. They were not at Seaside Hill. Actually, they ended up somewhere very well-known. Espio growled as his face turned red like a tomato.

"Welcome to McDonald's, how may I take your order?" a kind young lady's voice said through the speaker.

"Yeah, I'll take a Big Mac, some large fries, a large cup of Coca-Cola and a Quarter Pounder for me," Vector said his order.

"WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE!?" Espio hollered out wrathfully.

"Chill out", Vector shushed him. "What do you want, Charmy?"

"I dunno", the bumble bee shrugged his shoulders.

"Ok. And lemme have a Mighty Kids meal with a double cheeseburger, French fries, and a small cup of…What kind of drink do you want?" Vector turned to Charmy.

"I still dunno", Charmy blinked.

"Don't give him any pop-," Espio warned.

"…And a small cup of Dr. Pepper for a kid here", Vector listed. "And as for you?" he turned back to Espio nicely.

"No thank you", the chameleon seethed through his teeth heatedly.

"And last, gimme a Snack Wrap and a Fruit and Yogurt in a cup for a friend here." Vector said his last order.

"That'll be $20.00 at the first window", the woman said nicely.

"Thanks", Vector nodded. "You got any money?" he looked over to Charmy.

"Yep", the bumble bee kindly handed him a $10 bill.

"Espio?" Vector turned to him with puppy dog eyes.

"Fine", the impatient chameleon gave him the other $10 bill. "But why now?"

"Dude, that song made me hungry myself", Vector drove up to the first window and paid the bill. He drove up to a long line that was filled with 10 other cars.

"Wh-wh-what??" Espio's left eyebrow twitched.

"Oh, darn", Vector rubbed the back of his head. "I guess we have to wait."

10 more minutes passed. The time on Espio's watch was now 3:25. Now the gang was really late. And only 5 cars left the drive thru so far. The client still hasn't said anything yet. Where was he anyway? And, what happened to him? Espio prayed that it wasn't a little prank made by an immature. Vector and Charmy didn't bother listening to the radio right now. It somehow lost connection and they could only hear static. Yawning loudly, Vector turned off the radio. Now everyone was bored, tired, and impatient (well, Espio was mostly). Just then, Vector thought of something.

"_**California…**_" he started singing an old rap song called California Love by 2pac and Dr. Dre. "_**…knows how to party. California…knows how to party."**_

"_**In the citaaay of L.A**_.", Charmy continued to sing the chorus. "_**In the citaaay of good ol' Watts. In the citaaay, the city of Compton. We keep it rockin! We keep it rockin!"**_

"_**Now let me welcome everybody to the wild, wild west**_", Charmy and Vector began to rap at the same time. Before they could've continued, their necks were grabbed by a hand and then pulled back to their seats.

"No…more…" Espio growled, who choked Charmy with his right hand and Vector with his left.

"Espio, stop!" Charmy coughed for some air.

"Anger management, anger management", Vector tried to breath.

"Hmph", Espio released them and sat back. "Maintain focus, maintain focus, and maintain focus…" he murmured to himself as he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

Vector and Charmy kept panting until they were able to breathe again. Holy crap, Espio's really insane! And why do they hang out with him? Better yet, why does HE hang out with them, even when they act goofy? Well, they all could worry about that later, because they were next in line! Thank goodness! Vector hurriedly drove up to the next window. Before a male employee could've said 'Thank you for coming' or something, Vector took everything and then sped off. He quickly gave Charmy's food and drink, and then threw a bag with Espio's food backwards. Luckily, Espio caught it and saved his food.

"Now can we please go to Seaside Hill?"

"Yeah, sure", Vector sighed and took a bit of his Big Mac.

"Mmm", Charmy sipped up his Dr. Pepper drink in seconds. "I feel so hyper right now!!" he started shaking wildly and began to have a sugary seizure.

"Oops", Vector turned to him frightfully with a sweatdrop.

"What did I just tell you?!" Espio pointed at him with a VERY fuming look on his face.

Finally, they made it to Seaside Hill. Charmy was done having his sugary seizure, and Espio calmed down a little. As for Vector, he was so happy that he was able to get something to eat. When they all finished their food, they got out of the car. The bumper fell off and his car suddenly broke down into pieces. The three detectives looked at the shattered parts and sweatdropped.

"Well, this sucks", Vector spoke. "Anyway, Code Bacon, do you read me?" he pulled out the communicator and turned it on.

"Huh?" Bacon said confusingly. He yawned. "Oh, sorry for taking so long. I was enjoying a little nap. What time is it?"

"4:00, sir", Espio looked at his watch, feeling frustrated.

"Oh, well, that's ok, you're not fired", Bacon said nicely.

"See?" Charmy and Vector looked back at Espio impolitely.

"Well, I thought…but I uh…" the chameleon swift his eyes side to side.

"Whatever, shut up", Bacon said unfriendly.

"Excuse me?" Espio looked at the communicator fiercely.

"Anyway, now that you're all here, are you ready for your first mission?" Bacon said as a sound of drum roll was heard.

"Yes", Vector nodded.

"Are you ready?" Bacon asked again excitedly.

"Yes!" Charmy threw his hands in the air.

"Are you positively sure?"

"YEAH!" Vector and Charmy nodded happily.

"Are you absolutely-?"

"Get on with it", Espio slapped his forehead.

"Go to Hell", Bacon responded coldly. "Anyway…Your first mission is…" he said joyfully as the drum roll got louder.

* * *

LLLLLOOOOLLLLL!!! I can't believe that I did all of that!!! Man, I need a drink of water; I've been laughing my ass off. Anyway, anyone know what the first mission is? R&R, please, thanks! 


	4. Nobody likes Hermit Crabs

Good evening, everyone. Anyway, the last chappie was really…funny as it seems. But this chappie gets even funnier

* * *

"Your first mission is to find 10 hermit crabs", Code Bacon finally announced the mission. 

Suddenly, the drum roll stopped and a long trombone sound was heard from the background. Charmy, Vector, and Espio sweatdropped. Now that was unexpecting. They thought that their first mission would have some action in it, but no. Instead, they get a super lame mission.

"You're kidding me, right?" Espio slapped his forehead.

"I'm serious", Bacon said. "However, this is mostly like a practice test. Just to see how good you detectives are."

"That's it?" Vector asked.

"Yes", Bacon said. "Once you get all of the 10 hermit crabs, contact me back. Now, begin", he ordered and turned off his communicator.

"…Wow", Vector sweatdropped.

"Let's get started!" Charmy cheered.

"And get this stupid so called 'mission' over with", Espio walked forward.

So then, the mission began. The team searched high and low to find any hermit crabs. However, they received no luck. Just then, Charmy saw a small brown shell. He picked it up and looked at it curiously.

"Oh, no you don't", Vector snatched it away. "Gotta make sure that it isn't a bomb or something…" he reached his hand inside of the shell. Suddenly, something pinched his index finger hardly. He yelled in pain as he pulled his hand out. The thing that was pinching his finger was definitely a hermit crab. The red creature held on as Vector continued to yell in pain and wobble his right hand back and forth.

"1 down!" Charmy raised a fist with optimism.

Later on, the three took off again. Yet again, they searched high and low. Charmy went up to a palm tree as he noticed a sudden shell. He was about to reach for it, until...

"Oh, no you don't!" Vector said as he climbed up the tree. "Gotta make sure that it isn't a bomb or something", he grabbed the shell. He stuck his right thumb finger in and it got pinched hardly by another hermit crab. He screamed in pain and horror as he fell back. Then he landed on the grassy ground.

"2 down!" Charmy rasied up two fingers.

And so, the three continued. Vector had to get some bandages for is index and thumb, because the two crabs pinched them so hard. Espio carried the two captured hermit crabs in a small net. Just then, they saw three orange robots laughing at another hermit crab. Charmy gasped as Vector and Espio sweatdropped.

"We gotta save it!" the bee pointed at the robots.

"I'm on it", Vector charged at the robots. He did a loud annoying Indian call as he raised his fists. The robots looked at him with fear as they hugged each other. Then Vector swung his left fist and sent them to the air. He watched the robots fly in the air until they became sparkly specks. "Let's see...I hope it's not a bomb", he picked up the hermit crab. In result, his middle finger got pinched. He hollered a scream in pain as he wiggled his finger. "NO! Not my middle finger! Anything else but my middle finger! How am I supposed to flip people off!?"

"Just use your pinky", Charmy smiled.

"So that makes 3", Espio said.

"Get this thing off of me!" Vector begged as he showed his bruised middle finger and the crab was hangning on to it.

"Did you just flip me off?!" Espio glared at him heatedly.

"NO!" Vector shook his head. "Just get this thing off of me!"

"That's it!" Espio gave Charmy the net. He then charged at Vector. The crocodile shrieked like a girl as he ran away.

"3 down!" Charmy exclaimed cheerfully. "Oh, wait, Espio just said that..."

After Vector received a pound on the head from Espio, he got some more bandages on his middle finger, and puts the crab in the net. The three then continued. Soon enough, they reached to a sandy area where some water waves splashed the sea. After a large water wave splashed the Chaotix and washed away, another familiar shell appeared next to Charmy. He spits out some seaweed and picks it up.

"Lemme see that", Espio snatched it out of his hand. Painfully, his index finger got pinched by a hermit crab. A loud yell of pain and anger came out of his mouth and echoed the whole world. Now he had to suffer some bad luck.

"LOL, sucks for you", Vector laughed at him.

"4 down!" Charmy threw his fists in the air with pride.

Once Espio got some bandages on his index finger, the gang continued. However, the hermit crabs were a little bit harder to find. But then, Charmy noticed something moving on the ground further in front of him. He buzzes to it. It was another hermit crab. Yet again, Vector pushed him out of the way and picks the shell up, just to make sure that it wasn't a bomb. Still, he received a hard pinch on his pinky finger by another mean hermit crab.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! NOT MY PINKY FINGER!!!" he yelled in pain.

"5 down, we're half way done!" Charmy applauded.

And so, the Chaotix continued again, well, after Vector got some bandages for his pinky finger. When they reached to a mountain, Espio and Vector began to climb on it. Charmy stayed below as he watched. The green crocodile was the first one to reach a cliff. He saw a hermit crab sleeping peacefully. Gently, he grabbed it with his hand. But then his right ring finger got pinched aggressively. He let out a huge scream in pain as he accidently let go of the mountain. He then fell all the way down to the ocean's water. SPLASH!

"Oh, dear", Espio looked down with a sweatdrop.

"6 down! Whoo!" Charmy shook his cheerleading pompoms in the air.

"May I ask where in the world did you get those?" Espio glared at him confusingly with another sweatdrop.

As soon as Espio saved Vector, they put the crab in the net and Charmy decided to hold it. Sooner or later, they took off again (just after Vector got some bandages around his whole hand). All of the sudden, Charmy noticed a couple of shells moving themselves across the ground.

"Look! There's some more!" Charmy pointed happily.

"I got this", Espio walked on ahead. He grabbed the two shells and examined them. Just then, both of his middle fingers got pinched hardly. He hollered in pain as he shook his hands wildly as the crabs held on to his fingers.

"Sucks for you, again!" Vector pointed at him with tease.

"YAY! 8 down!" Charmy raised his pompoms in the air.

"WTF?" Vector swift his eyes to him oddly.

Laterly, Espio got bandages for his two middle fingers and the gang continued. This time, they searched around a beach cave. They searched for about five minutes and they began to fell tired. Vector yawned as he took a seat on a large rock. No one noticed that another hermit crab was walking to him sneakily. He snapped its claws onto Vector's long tail as it snickered evilly. After feeling the terrible pain, Vector yelled in pain and ran around in circles.

"Dammit, not my tail!" Vector swung his tail back and forth but the crab kept hanging on.

"Hey, let's dance!" Charmy suggested excitedly as he buzzed to him. As Charmy started swinging his butt back and forth and Vector kept swinging his tail, some background music came on.

**_Oh, shake shake shake, shake shake shake,_**

**_Shake your booty! Shake your booty!_**

**_Oh, shake shake shake, shake shake shake_**

**_Shake your booty! Shake your booty!_**

**_Shake shake, shake shake!_**

**_Shake shake, shake shake!_**

**_Shake shake shake, shake shake shake_**

**_Shake your booty! Shake your booty!_**

**_Oh, shake shake shake, shake shake shake_**

**_Shake your booty! Shake your booty!_**

**_(repeats 100 times)_**

Espio watched them with some sweatdrops falling off of his face and the back of his head. Ok, that was really unexpecting to see. And how in the world did the BGM come on all of the sudden? There wasn't a stereo anywhere, so Espio had no clue of what was going on right about now. Somehow, the song sounded familiar to another song that was about butts. Hopefully, that song won't come on again and drive Espio crazy. As Charmy and Vector continued...dancing or whatever, Espio sat down on a rock and began to read a Dr. Phil magazine that was mainly about dealing with idiots.

Although, Espio didn't sense that another hermit crab was tip toeing to his curled tail from behind. The crab winked to the unknown audience and opened its claws. Madly and evilly, the crab pinched Espio's tail. The chameleon jumped in the air as he shouted "OW!" loudly. After he landed on his feet, he began to wiggle his tail back and forth to get it off. However, the crab wouldn't let go of him. Espio continued to wiggle his tail until he reached to the 'dancefloor' with Vector and Charmy. Somehow, he joined them and he didn't notice! Suddenly, some colorful disco lights appeared around the team as they continued to dance(?).

"ENOUGH WITH THAT CRAP!" Code Bacon ordered coldly and the party froze. The music went off as so did the lights. "Now, did you find all of the 10 hermit crabs?"

"Yes", the team saluted.

"Ok, let them go", Bacon sighed.

"What...?" Vector looked at the communicator strangely.

"ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT WE SEARCHED ALL AROUND THIS PLACE, GOT PINCHED TO DEATH, HAD SURGERY ON OUR FINGERS, AND NOW YOU'RE TELLING US TO RELEASE THEM!?!?!?!?" Espio screamed at the communicator angrily.

"I said that it was a practice test, didn't I, loser?" Bacon asked sarcastically.

"What did you just call me?!" Espio pointed at the two-way radio suspiciously.

"Yo momma", Bacon said rudely.

"What!? What about my momma?!" Espio hissed as Vector and Charmy started cracking up.

"Oh, did I tell you that your momma and I had a great time last night?" Bacon asked with sarcasm and lust.

"Motherfu-I'll kill you!!" Espio took the communicator and shook it like crazy. "Where are you!? I wanna kick your ass!"

"Oh, don't do it now, your momma and I are hitting it again", Bacon laughed mockingly.

"You son of a bitch!!" the chameleon widened his eyes with rage.

"Yo momma's a bitch", Bacon replied heartlessly.

"Damn you!!!" Espio shook the communicator hardly as his face turned red.

"ANGER MANAGEMENT, ESPIO!" Vector and Charmy tried to get the communicator away from him.

"Maintain focus..." Espio released the communicator and Vector and Charmy fell forward.

"Ok, what's our next mission?" Vector asked as he pulled the crab off of his tail.

"Your next mission is...To go to "Ocean Palace" to find and rescue a chao. Now go!" Bacon ordered.

"Got it!" Vector nodded and puts the communicator away.

"Let's go!!!!!!!!!" Charmy flew out of the cave joyfully.

"C'mon, Espio, let's go", Vector ran out to follow him.

"Hmph", Espio pulled the crab off of his tail and kicked it away. "Wait up!" he called out as he followed.

* * *

See, what did I tell ya! Sorry if it kinda bored ya, but at least that dancing part must've cracked ya up. Anyway, stay tuned for chapter 5!!!! Anyway, that song was from the 70's from some group called The Sunshine Band, R&R BTW, thnkx! 


	5. Into the Crazy Beach Castle

Since I'm bored, I'm uploading another chappie! Will the Chaotix succeed in their next mission? Find out now!!!!

* * *

Team Chaotix traveled all the way to "Ocean Palace" in order to complete their next mission. At first, Espio and Vector had to get away the crazy hermit crabs because they didn't want their other fingers or tails getting bruised to death. However, Charmy didn't get pinched at all! Why was that? No one knows. At any rate, the three reached up to two huge stoned doors. Everyone began to ponder for the moment. 

"How are we supposed to get in there?" Espio rubbed his chin.

"Ooh, I got it!" Vector walked to the door. He took a deep breath. "OPEN SEASAME!" he exhaled orderly.

Nothing happened. Instead, there was an awkward moment of silence. Charmy sweatdropped as Espio slapped his forehead. Vector relaxed his arms and sighed hardly. That plan actually didn't work. In fact, how was it going to work anyhow? Doesn't that kind of stuff only exist in movies?

"What…the…hell?" Espio spoke.

"Dude, it was supposed to work!" Vector growled feverishly. "I've seen that stuff on some genie movies and it always happens."

"But this's reality, doo-doo", Espio placed his hands on his hips.

"You're a doo-doo", Vector snapped at him.

"Clap on!" Charmy clapped his hands twice. Suddenly, the two stoned doors opened slowly and froze. "Clap off!" Charmy clapped again. Then the doors closed themselves slowly. "Clap on!" The doors opened up. "Clap off!" Magically, the doors closed themselves up. "Clap on-!"

"Ok, that's enough", Espio walked forward.

"Why didn't I think about that?" Vector scratched his head as he followed.

"Weee!!" Charmy buzzed forward. He turned around after everyone walked in the twin doors. "Clap off!" he clapped his hands. Gently, the doors closed. After that, Charmy took off to follow his comrades.

The three were about to continue, but then Espio halted them. He pointed ahead at a couple of robots that were sleeping in front of a large stone. Bad news was that the particular stone was a way out. However, how were they going to get pass them without getting caught?

"Well, this sucks", Vector crossed his arms.

"Now what?" Charmy asked.

"I'll take care of this", Espio did a hand sign and turned invisible. "Stay quiet", he began to tip toe to the robots.

Seconds later, Espio reached to the robots. He pulled out a kunai knife in order to use to destroy the two robots. Vector and Charmy were hiding behind a bolder as they were playing with their GBA's. Charmy was playing a Naruto game while Vector was playing a Super Mario Bros. game. Just before he could've defeated Bowser, he blew some fire on Mario. After that, the game was over. Vector growled as he listened to the game over theme.

"DAMN YOU, BOWSER!" he hollered at angrily as he stood up.

"Intruder alert!" the robots woke up and glared at him evilly.

"Uh-oh", Vector turned to them.

"Way to go, Big Mouth", Charmy slapped his forehead.

"Shut up", Vector snapped at him.

"You shut up!" Charmy came up to his face.

"You!"

"You!"

For no reason, they began to have a cat fight. The robots cheered as they watched. Espio shook his head with disappointment. Oh, well. With no other choice, he knocked down the robots and they became unconscious. He whistled for his comrades. Vector and Charmy stopped scratching each other and turned to him. Then they rushed to him. Espio and Vector climbed up the rock as Charmy only flew over it. Soon enough, they went down a long path. During that time, some old ruins were trying to fall on them.

"EEEK!" Charmy shrieked. "They're trying to land on us!"

"This place is ancient", Espio said. "Be careful."

"What, are there some evil spirits here or something?" Vector asked nervously.

Shortly in time, they reached to a fan. It was covered by some bars as they air came from the swinging blades. The three began to think to themselves. Above the fan, there was an edge that might lead to another path. Still, how were they going to get up there? Vector pulled out a piece of Extra bubble gum and puts it in his mouth. He blew a big bubble, but then, he started going up. He mumbled in fear as he reached over the fan. Then he just stood there, floating over the fan.

"That's it!" Espio snapped his fingers.

"What, bubble gum?" Charmy scratched his head.

"No, we'll just grab on to Vector, tell him to blow up some more bubble gum, and then we'll be up there in no time", Espio explained.

"Whoo! We're going for a ride!" Charmy threw his hands in the air with cheer.

"Ok, let's go", Espio rushed to Vector.

"Hey, guys", the crocodile mumured through the bubble gum. "Can somebody get me down from here?"

"Kyaap!" Espio jumped and grabbed Vector's right shoulder.

"WTF are you doing?" Vector asked awkwardly.

"Blow that bubble", Espio commanded.

"Wee!!!" Charmy grabbed hold of Vector's tail.

"Holy crap, don't do that! It'll bring me nightmares about the hermit crabs!" Vector gasped. Hurriedly, he blow some more air into the gum's bubble and the three began to go up. Not only that, but the fan was pushing more air into the bubble also. Finally, the three reached to the edge and Espio and Charmy released Vector. His gum bubble popped nad he landed on his bottom. "Ouch!"

"Let's keep going", Espio walked to another pair of twin stoned doors. He clapped twice, but nothing happened. Growling with rage, he clapped again. Still, nothing happened. He kicked the door, but in result, he ended up hurting his right foot. "Oof!!" he grumbled in pain as he hopped up and down and held his injured foot.

"OPEN SEASAME!" Charmy yelled out as he threw his arms open. Magically, the doors opened widely.

"Why didn't that work for me!?" Vector hollered with complaint.

"And me?!" Espio added as he stopped hopping.

"Maybe because I'm cooler", Charmy crossed his arms. "And now, we continue", he zoomed forward.

"Lucky lil' brat", Vector and Espio crossed their arms and stomped forward.

Soon enough, the three stopped. There were three directions that only led to some roads ahead. Team Chaotix pondered for the moment.

"Which way?" Espio asked.

"Just follow the yellow brick road", Charmy pointed to the middle.

"What brick road?" Vector turned to him.

"That one", Espio pointed out for him.

"**_You're off to see the Wizard, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz." _**a group of munchkins appeared around the team as they sang and danced. "**_You'll find he is a whiz of a Wiz! If ever a Wiz! there was..."_**

"Oh, God..." Espio slapped his forhead.

"YAY!! A SONG ALONG!" Charmy clapped with joy.

"Goddammit", Vector turned on his MP3 player loudly as he walked forward. "C'mon, boys", he said and Espio walked behind him.

"Can I just stay here?" Charmy asked as a few munchkins danced around him.

"No!" Espio and Vector grabbed him by the arms and pulled him along.

"Aww, man", Charmy whined.

"**_If ever oh ever a Whiz! there was The Wizard of Oz is one, because, because, because, because, because, because...Because of the wonderful things he does. You're off the see thw Wizard. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz..." _**the munchkins continued to sing as they followed Team Chaotix.

After an hour running away from the munchkins, getting through various traps, opening stoned doors, and knocking down some more robots, the team reached to the top of an edge. Espio and Vector climbed over it as Charmy flew up. Up ahead, they saw a small blue chao that was asleep in its cage. Lots of robots were guarding it as they searched around for intruders. Now the mission seemed to get tricky to complete.

"So...How are we going to get to that chao?" Charmy asked suspiciously.

"Hmm...This looks tricky", Vector rubbed his chin. "But I got an idea."

"What?" Espio asked.

A few minutes later, the robots continued to watch over the caged chao. Team Chaotix took a peek from a corner of a bolder. The plan was to pretend that they were from a music group so that way they can distract the robots. Vector wore an afro wig on his head, had on a long white T-shirt, sagging jeans, and huge red sneakers. Charmy wore a pilot's hat, a Broncos football shirt, and flip flops. As for Espio, he was in a colorful clown's disguise with some goofy make-up on his face.

"Wha the hell is this supposed to do?" Espio asked furiously.

"I just told you, we're gonna perform a song, drive the robots insane, and then save the chao", Vector explained.

"What's the name of our group?" Charmy asked.

"Erm...The Rainbows?" Vector guessed.

"This is ridiculous", Espio slapped his forhead.

"Just follow my lead", Vector winked. He jumped out of the corner and the robots turned to him. "Hello, folks. I am Captain Shoebox, and my, I have a great song for you!" he pulled out a microphone.

"Meep. WTF?" a flying robots said as it sweatdropped. Because there was water on it, th robot electrocuted itself and fell to the ground.

"Come on out", Vector waved his hand.

"Yay!" Charmy popped out with a drum.

"Damn, damn, damn", Espio sighed harshly as he walked out with his favorite shamisen.

The robots blinked twice as they looked at each other. Then they looked back at the strange music group. True they were probably intruders, but they had to keep their eyes open for anything suspicious.

"Now what? Do we know any songs?" Espio asked.

"Shut up, Clownman", Vector, or Captain Shoebox shused him. "Just play the instruments."

Charmy started pounding on the drum loudly as Espio started playing wiht his shamisen. Vector tapped his foot as he bobbed his head. The robots stared at them with confused looks on their faces.

"**_Na, na, na, gonna have a good time! Hey, hey, hey!_**" Vector began to sing on his microphone with his horrible singing voice. "**_Na, na, na, gonna have a good time! Hey, hey, hey! And I'm gonna sing a song for you. And this is gonna show you a thing or two_**."

"EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! OVERLOAD! OVERLOAD!" the robots began to go crazy because of Vector's terrible singing. Then they exploded madly. The massive blast sent Vector, Espio and Charmy off the ledge and all the way down to the ocean.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"

"Hey, wait a minute, I can fly!" Charmy noticed and buzzed back up.

"CHARMY!" Espio and Vector snarled. They let out another scream in union until they splashed into the water. Both of them swam all the way up and gasped for air. Curiously, they looked around and saw a long line of turtles. Loudly as they could, they called out for help, but the turtles didn't hear them. Espio continued shouting out to them and Vector growled.

"FINE! FORGET YOU, YOU STUPID TURTLES!" he screamed out angrily.

By that call, the turtles glared at them evilly. Espio and Vector gulped. Quickly, the turtles swam to them using there arms. The two detectives screamed like girls and swam away. Back with Charmy, he unlocked the cage and the chao gave him a hug. Suddenly, he heard some screaming. He took a look at the ocean below and saw Espio and Vector swimming away from a group of evil turtles. Just then, a huge gray turtled swallowed them along with some water.

"AAHH!!!! ESPIO!! VECTOR!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Charmy shouted to the sky, as if he was doomed.

Inside the turtle's mouth, Espio and Vector gasped for some air as the water rushed pass them. Thankfully, they were still alive. Suddenly, the transceiver came on.

"Did you find and rescue the chao?" Code Bacon asked.

"I'm sure Charmy's taking care of that", Vector replied.

"What do you mean?"

"Me and Espio are inside a turtle's mouth, and we're stuck."

"...Oh, well. That's all for today. Now, get out of there, find your way to Holiday Inn, and rest there", Bacon ordered. "You're next mission will begin tomorrow."

"Ok", Vector nodded and puts the communicator away. "Now what?"

"Oh, hello", Pinocchio waved at them kindly. "Looks like we're gonna be here for a long time, huh?"

"Wait, I thought that in your movie, you got eaten by a whale", Espio realized.

"Well, it turns out that the whale was allergic to wood", Pinocchio sighed as he lowered his head.

"...I'm hungry", Vector rubbed his empty belly.

"Again?" Espio sweatdropped.

All of the sudden, the turtle's mouth opened. Vector did a familiar Homer Simpson 'Whoo-hoo!' call as he ran out. Espio followed him. Both of them jumped into the water and swan their way toa bolder and began to climb all the way to where Charmy was.

"Hey, what about me?" Pinocchio called out for them. Just then, the turtle's mouth closed and he was left in the dark stinky mouth. "Jimmy Cricket!" he snapped his fingers unhappily.

Now, back with Charmy, he sobbed as he had his face covered. The rescued chao patted him on the back. Just then, Espio and Vector reached to the ledge and climbed over. They walked to him and cleared their throats. The bee stopped crying and turned to them.

"YAY, YOU'RE ALIVE!" Charmy gave them a hug.

"You little brat!" Espio grabbed him by the neck. "How dare you leave us behind?!" he shook him like crazy.

"Anger management, Espio", Vector spoke.

"Grr", Espio released Charmy. "Maintain focus...Maintain focus..."

"Thanks", Charmy coughed for some air.

"I see that you got the chao for us", Vector smiled.

"Can we keep it? PLEEEEEEAAAAASSSSEEE?" Charmy begged.

"We'll see", Vector scratched his head. "However, we got to find a hotel called "Holiday Inn".

"Then let's go!" Charmy zoomed forward and the chao followed.

"Let's", Vector forward. "**_We're gonna chill at Holiday Inn_**", he sang to himself.

"Eh?" Espio opened his eyes. "Hey, quit leaving me behind!" he yelled as he ran off to follow his teammates.

* * *

Welp, that's it for this chappie. If you can find out what songs that the munchkins and Vector sang, I'll give you a can of Coca-Cola! Tune in next time! 


	6. Introducing the Vicious, Dr Who?

It's been a long ass time since I've updated on this fic, because I'm not getting a lot of reviews. But anyway, I'm gonna try this again…

* * *

Right after the Chaotix rescued the trapped chao, they began to look for a way to Holiday Inn. At first, Vector told Charmy to get rid of it, but Charmy whined horribly saying that he wants to keep it. As Espio tried to keep his cool, Charmy and Vector argued for an hour. Finally, they said yes and Charmy kept the chao to himself. He didn't know if it was a girl or a boy, so coming up with a name was tough for him. Anyway, as the gang was walking down a long road, which was not the yellow brick road thank goodness, an evil laugh was heard.

"Holy spit, what was that!?" Charmy gasped shockingly.

"Huh, what?" Vector turned his MP3 player down. "Is there a bomb threat or something?"

"Vector, why do you always think that you thought you heard something that it might be a bomb threat?" Espio asked with a shrug.

"Well…We gotta keep an eye on our surroundings", Vector said secretly as he looked around like a spy. "Terrorists are everywhere."

"Only in the Middle East", the chameleon replied ironically.

"Still, remember what happened on 9/11/01?" Vector asked as he walked backwards.

"We didn't know who flew those planes", Espio responded furiously. "So what makes you think that some Iraqis did that?"

"Well…Oh, well, who cares? It was Iraq, so that's why we're in a war with them!" the crocodile answered with pride.

"Actually, we're in a war with them so that they can steal their oil", the chameleon sweatdropped. "Plus, what's with raising the gas prices?"

"To pay the soldiers. After all, they're protecting our country", Vector crossed his arms.

"By being blown up too death or by blowing up places to cause more trouble?" Espio scoffed sardonically.

"Don't be such a democrat", Vector shook his head.

"Well, excuse me, dumb republican", Espio glared at him heatedly. "Besides, we already had a Bush once in the office, and yet, his son became president? What the crap, man?"

"There are two of them?" Charmy asked curiously.

"You should the news more", Vector said. "Hey, we should appear on CNN sometime-,"

"Oh, my god, what the heck is that?!" the bee pointed in front of him.

Finally, the trio stopped and looked ahead. They saw a huge red flying machine with a hawk face placed on the front of the contraction. Sitting on the control chair was a human that had a long brown thick mustache, wore a red shirt with long sleeves, long black pants with attaching boots, and wore black purplish shades. Plus, he was bold, had a big egg belly, and a big pink nose.

"Aah! It's a terrorist!" Vector pointed at the strange man with fear.

"Does this guy even look like Saddam Hussein or Osama bin Laden?" Espio turned to him oddly with a sweatdrop.

"So, you're the ones whose been playing games with my army, huh?" the ugly man asked suspiciously.

"You and what army?" Vector scratched his head in confusion. "Are you sure that you're not a terrorist?"

"No, I'm not a terrorist, you crackhead!" the bold man yelled out madly.

"Wait a minute, that's…" Espio looked at the man, as if he has seen him before.

"I am the vicious Dr.-," the man began to introduce himself. Suddenly, he farted and blushed shyly. "Phew, I knew I shouldn't have ate those Cleveland-style baked burritos a few minutes ago", he said to himself embarassingly as he sprayed some air freshner around him.

"So who is this guy?" Vector asked as he, Espio, Charmy, and the chao were wearing gas masks.

"It's doctor something", Charmy pondered for a moment.

"Dr. Phil?" the crocodile guessed stupidly.

"Does that guy even look like Dr. Phil?" Espio turned to him improbably.

"Well…He is a doc, right?" Vector looked at him confusingly.

"Dr. Seuss?" Charmy guessed.

"Um, he's dead", Espio turned to him oddly.

"I still don't get why they're making movies of his books that are filled with alien like characters", Vector rubbed his head softly with mystification.

"I love his books though", Charmy said with a smile.

"Then you're gay", Vector replied to him rudely. "Anyway, what's his name? Dr. Evil?" he asked Espio.

"Well…He is bold like him, but he's fatter", the purple creature examined the mad man inexplicably.

"I'm not fat! I'm big boned!" the evil doctor bawled out irately.

"Dr. Dolittle?" Charmy guessed again.

"Dude, he has hair and he's black", Espio turned to him strangely. "Again, he's thinner. Plus, he's an animal doctor."

"You mean a veterinarian", Vector corrected him teasingly.

"Shut up", Espio snapped as he pointed at him uncouthly.

"Enough!" Eggman shouted impatiently, just to get their attention. "I am Dr. Eggman, the greatest scientist in the world!"

"We were close", Vector crossed his arms with a couple of nods. "I mean, I was almost right with that Dr. Evil guess."

"Yeah, I know", Espio patted him on the shoulder kindly.

"Now, you will die!" Eggman pressed lots of buttons and the rotors on the wings began to fire.

"AAAHHH!!" the Chaotix ran away to take cover. All of our heroic detectives reached to a large brick wall and hid behind it. Then they got down and covered their heads. However, they were still fired at.

"Now what?!" Espio asked loudly with dread.

"I got it!" Vector snapped his fingers joyfully. He jumped out of the brick wall as he was dressed up as the Italian gangster, Scarface. He had on the suit, the fake cigar in his mouth, and also the machine gun that we all seen a million times in the movie. "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!!" he hollered out angrily and fired his machine gun. Because it was his first time using a gun, he struggles to hold the machine gun in place as he wobbled from the vibration.

"Oh, please", Eggman slapped his forehead. "I've seen that a billion times already." He pressed a red button and a small bomb was thrown at the crocodile.

"BOMB!!" Vector yelled in fear. In a matter of seconds, he was blown into the sky as he screamed.

"I knew that wasn't going to work", Espio shook his head as he watched one of his comrades fly into the atmosphere.

"Don't worry!" Charmy got up and zipped to the front of the brick wall. "Kids Next Door! Battle stations!!" he shouted in command as he was dressed up as Number One from KND on Cartoon Network. Although, no one appeared next to him. "Calling all Power Rangers, do you read me?" he said to the communicator that was suddenly on his right wrist.

As the Power Rangers theme song came on, the five rangers (the red, blue, yellow, pink, and black one) came out of nowhere in their fighting positions. Sadly, Eggman blew them up into the sky too. The bumble bee watched the rangers fly into the sky as they screamed in pain and fear.

"No wonder I don't watch their show anymore. They suck", he shook his head. Without noticing, he was blown up to the sky as well. "AAAAHHHH!!" he squealed in fear.

"Dammit", Espio snapped his fingers angrily. Just then, the whole brick wall exploded behind him and he was pushed forward from the massive attack. Then he was unconscious.

"Touchdown!" Eggman got up from his seat and started dancing like a retard.

One thing for sure, everyone forgot about the little chao. Carefully, it flew all the way to Eggman's aircraft until it reached to the back of it. It saw a switch that can be use to turn off the machine. And so, the cute little chao pushed the off button. Before Eggman noticed, his invention suddenly collapsed into pieces. Then he was left in the air as he sat in his Egg-Mobile seat. He growled irately as he pulled his mustache a little.

"This isn't over, you crackheads!" he warned and then took off to the sky. But did he really care how his machine collapsed in the first place?

A little while later, Espio woke up from his unconsciousness and stood up. Out of nowhere, Vector, Charmy, and the Power Rangers fell into the ocean that was around the runway which Espio was standing on. Quickly, Charmy and Vector swam to shore and gasped for some air. Then they got up and kicked the water off of their shoes.

"Nice work, Espio!" the leader of the team smiled with a thumb's up.

"I didn't get rid of Eggman", Espio raised an eyebrow misunderstanding.

"Then who did?" Charmy asked. As the question was asked, his pet chao came up to him with a hug. "YAY!! Good job!" he cheered with a smile.

"Now, let's head to Holiday Inn!" Vector ordered as he marched to the road ahead of them. "Left! Left! Left, right, left!" he yelled out as a drill sergeant.

"Are you a boy, or a girl?" Charmy asked his pet chao.

"…?" the blue chao sweatdropped.

"A boy?"

"…" the chao nodded.

"Ok! Then I'll call you Snoopy!" Charmy smiled.

"(WTF?)", the chao sweatdropped again.

"C'mon, let's go", Espio went to follow Vector.

"OK!" the bee buzzed to follow him with his chao pet by his side.

"_**We're gonna chill at Holiday Inn**_", Vector sang to himself.

"Please don't sing that Chingy song again", Espio shrugged with aggravation.

"Heck, then what are we supposed to do while we're on our way there?" Vector asked impolitely.

"I know! Let's play I Spy!" Charmy suggested happily.

"Ok, um…I spy something with my little eyes something blue", Vector started the game.

"The ocean", Espio answered with bore.

"Yeah", the crocodile nodded.

"Aw, man!" Charmy complained.

"Ok, I spy my little eyes something…white", Vector continued.

"This runway", Espio answered again.

"Hey, stop cheating!" the bee snarled at him unfriendly.

"I spy my little eyes something…green."

"You, Vector."

"That does it!"

Suddenly, Charmy and Espio got into a cat fight. Vector laughed uncontrollably at the scene. Snoopy shook his head with a sweatdrop falling off of his right cheek.

* * *

Welp, that's the end of this chappie. R&R, thanks.


	7. Author's Notice: Leaving Fanfiction

**READ IT! READ IT NOW AND READ IT CLOSELY!**

Hello, this is DangerousRockstar (my username used to be anime2videogames). Yes, I have changed my fanfiction username finally. I can see that I have not been updating on this story lately. However, I have not been on this website in a very, VERY long time. Seriously, I have been very busy with life that I completely forgotten about my fanfics. Hell, I almost forgot my password as I was logging into this website! Anyways, besides this story, I have not been updating on my other fanfics due to many things occurring in my life. Allow me to explain my reasons why I have not been around for a long time and also why I may not return to writing my fanfics anytime soon…

**Reason #1: College**

~Last fall, I was taking 6 classes because I did not have a job at the time, so I was studying…a lot! Spring Semester 2011 was just as busy, even though I took 5 classes this time. Aside from that, I was dealing with so much pressure from my professors and my family members when it comes to college. I'm still trying to figure out whether I should major in the medical field or computers. But for now, I am taking general classes like Math, English, Speech, etc. This fall, I will be taking five more classes. Some of you may be wonder if I need to take that many classes in a semester. At the college I go to, I only need 4 classes (12 credit hors) to be a full time student, but remember, I did not have a job back then, so I guess I am ahead of everyone when it comes to getting all of my credit hours. I need 64 in total, and so far, I have 31 credit hours! Almost half way done with community college! I do wish to complete the list of classes to get into a university, while at the same time, I wish the take things easier on me in terms of the amount of classes I sign up for and to see how many are easy or hard for me. I did make some new friends here and there, and I also tended to hang out with them when I am not busy. So I was pretty much busy with being a college kid. Right now, I am looking up classes for this fall and hopefully, I can raise my grade point average, because it is not as good as I hope it would be…

**Reason #2: Drama, left and right**

~Trust me, in life, there's drama. I had to deal with drama from school (well, stress is a better word) and from home. For some reason, my mom seems to be getting really, REALLY under my skin and I want her to back off for two seconds! Not only that, I have two aunts who are ill, cousins having children at a very young age, and of course, job hunting. So far, last year and this year have not been the easiest years of my life. But hey, what IS an easy year nowadays? Now that it's summer time, I can finally rest my brain from books, tests, and worrying about homework. Praise the lord! Even so, I still have some issues regarding to my family. Yeah, it's mostly family drama, but I'm not going the worst of family drama, honestly. I'm hoping everything will ease up on me and my relatives as time goes by…

**Reason #3: No new ideas have come to me**

~This is common for us here at Fanfiction, but wow, I am really having a hard time to come up with new stories! Even though I have ideas of new stories on my profile, I cannot start writing/typing up the chapters for some reason. Back when I first started writing on this website, I had so many ideas flying in my head, back and forth. But I guess because what has been going on in my life, I have not been able to sit down and come up with new ideas to finish any of my fanfics, or start writing any new ones. I really hate that. However, I am sure I am not the only one going through this right now. Sure a few of my favorite Fanfic authors have discontinued their fics and/or stopped writing them completely in the past, but I am not mad about it. I understand their feelings when it come to dealing with life and abandoning Fanfiction altogether. I guess it's my turn to take that road. Even though none of you guys don't want me to do that, I might have to since well…Hell, I have not been here in almost a year, so, of course, I may have to leave this website for good. I know some of you may have new ideas for my fanfics, but hell, why not just take over from where I left off? That's right; I am auctioning off ALL of my fanfics for those who wish to continue my fanfics. If you have any questions, feel free to let me know.

**Reason #4: Working at two jobs is a pain!**

~Yes, I was finally able to find some summer part-time work for this summer. I work at an amusement park on Saturdays and at a local pool on Sundays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Today is Monday, so I am off from work, typing up this important message for you guys. Sure I have three off days, but the other four days are tedious and I have to work my butt off everytime! When I come home, I feel exhausted that I do not want to do anything but to sleep. But I gotta work this summer so I can save up on school and maybe a few videogames and clothes. Same goes with food. Who knows, I may have to find a different job that lasts all year around to pay for school and to have lunch and gas money in my pockets.

**Reason #5: Other distractions**

~All of the other distractions that are taking my time from **Fanfiction** include videogames, anime, preparing for summer vacation, preparing for school, **Youtube**, and of course, hanging out with people. It is what it is.

**Reason #6: I'm getting kind of bored here**

~No, it is not from waiting on new reviews from new people on my stories, but it's just that the entire website is not as entertaining as it used to be. Well, to me at least. Sure I came across a couple of good fanfics here and there, but for the most part, not many seem to interest me. With all of that going on, I tend to wonder why I still have an account here. Hell, can you even delete your accounts on this website? If so, I might as well do that seeing how I have not been updating on my fanfics and that I am getting really bored here. This is not the only website that's putting me to sleep. I am also getting bored with **DeviantArt** and **Facebook**. The only websites that are worth while to me now are **Youtube**, **Newgrounds**, **Google**, **Wikipedia**, and a few others. I'm not saying that this website sucks or anything, but the fact that matter is…I'm just losing my interests in **Fanfiction **altogether. Perhaps it is because I'm maturing and growing up…?

So there you go. Now that I have told many specific reasons to why I have not been updating, then I might as well end this segment by saying, "It's been fun, but I gotta move on." Now like I said earlier, if ANY of you wish to take my fanfics and continue the story for them, you can contact me whenever you have the time. If I take too long to reply, keep in mind that I am working at two jobs right now, so I may not be able to get back with you right away.

In closing, I would like to say thank you all for enjoying this story and many others for as they are and how much they contain, hopefully you'll understand where I am coming from, and of course, take care of yourselves.

(I REALLY hope you all read everything from start to finish, because if I see a review going "NOOOO DON'T GO! I CAN'T LIVE UNLESS YOU CONTINUE THE STORY!" or "THAT'S BULLSHIT! WHHHYYYY?" then I'll just look at your comments and laugh at you. Besides, you can't get everything in your life. You know that, right?)


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